My wife and I had a little argument one Monday morning while we were getting ready for work. I was annoyed by the way she had put the butter on the bread. It wasn "t pretty, badly spread. I made a harsh remark to her, like aclap in the room. I didn "t think it would end like this. If I had known, I would have closed my eyes and eaten this bread without saying anything. Anyway, late it anyway...
She was hurt by the tone I used. She left the table without lunch and went to work, without even saying goodbye. I was upset, she was too, and none of us wanted to take the first step. At night, we came home without talking to each other. We ate separately and went to bed without a word.
Tuesday, Wednesday, then Thursday went by like this.
Thursday night at dinner, she said "hi." I was too proud to answer, so I continued to eat in silence and left. Sometimes she smiled softly at me. She was a beautiful woman. Her smile could soften any heart. But to keep from "give in," I left the table.
I said to myself, "If this argument is going to end, she'll have to apologize. I'm not going to let her beauty make me say sorry." That "s what I kept telling myself when I went to bed. She went to shower and sang our favorite song. If we weren "t angry, I would have sung it with her. But my pride stole that moment.
When she came out of the bathroom, I was already deeply asleep.
Around 3am, she patted me gently to wake me up. I pushed her hand away, thinking she just wanted privacy. I didn "t know that was the last time I would feel her hand on me...
I went back to sleep.
I woke up at 7:15 a.m., late for work. I hurried, had breakfast, and left without talking to her. She was still asleep. My pride prevented me from talking to her. Ileft as if nothing had happened.
At night I came home and everything was exactly as I had left it in the morning. The door wide open, the table not tidy... I got a chill.
I rushed down the stairs, worried. As I entered the room, she was still there... in the same position, on the bed. My phone fell out of my hand. I ran to her, called her quivering, "Baby..."
His body was cold.
I wet my pants with fear. I put my head against her chest: she was not breathing.
I shouted "Jesus!" with all my might, hugging her. But... she was already gone. There was no more life in her.
It all seemed unreal to me... until he was buried.
That's when I understood: my wife died in our bed, and I didn't realize it.
I couldn't cry or laugh. I was lost. My heart broke. I wanted to go crazy. If only I could go back in time...
My wife had asthma.
When she woke me up at 3am, she had a fit. She would ask me for help, probably to get her inhaler. But my pride held me back. I let her die before my eyes..
Ilost the woman I really, stupidly loved. If we hadn "t had an argument that morning, my beautiful wife would still be alive today.
It's been three weeks since she left. My world is broken. My heart is empty. If I could go back, I would make up for my mistakes.
Today I ask Stella's forgiveness... I am sorry. I am sorry, my love
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